“It’s not the change itself – it’s the conversation that never happened.”
Change management is often framed as a technical or strategic challenge. But beneath every shift in structure, process, or direction lies a quieter, deeper terrain: the human experience of change.
When people resist transitions, it’s rarely about laziness or stubbornness. More often, it’s about loss of control, fear of being left behind, or distrust in how the change is being led. These are not irrational fears — they are signs of an emotional gap between what is happening and what is being acknowledged. Effective conflict in change management means recognizing and addressing these unspoken challenges that can derail progress.
Change Management & Conflict: Why This Matters Now
In an age of constant transformation, new systems, evolving roles, mergers, and reorganizations, many leaders focus on the technical aspects of change management – what needs to change. But what often gets overlooked is how people are experiencing that change.
A McKinsey report found that 70% of change efforts fail, primarily due to employee resistance and lack of management support. That’s not a strategy failure – it is a communication failure.
What remains unsaid are doubts, frustrations, and confusions that can fester and re-shape team dynamics, lower morale, and weaken performance. Ultimately, the unspoken and unrecognized can undermine the success of any transformation initiative.
What Teams Don’t Say Yet Feel Deeply
Here’s what employees often leave unsaid during organizational transitions:
- “I don’t know where I belong anymore.”
- “No one asked for my input.”
- “We’ve done this before, and nothing has resolved.”
- “If I speak up, I’ll be seen as a complainer, negative or ungrateful.”
Silence doesn’t mean agreement. It sometimes means people don’t feel safe enough to speak up and share what’s needed.
Making Room for the Emotional Side of Change
Change management doesn’t just need a communications plan, it needs emotional fluency. Leaders and facilitators must be skilled at listening beneath the surface, validating human reactions, and creating safety for truth-telling. It requires intentional practices that invite the ‘unsaid’ into open dialogue and shared understanding.
Here’s how: 3 Human-Centered Ways to Surface the Unspoken
- Host Circle Conversations
Before or during transitions, invite groups to connect in meaningful dialogue to reflect on:
- What’s shifting?
- What are we gaining — and what are we losing?
- What support would help us through this?
These conversations don’t have to be polished. They just need to be safe and inclusive. Consider using third-party facilitators to avoid power dynamics that can stifle some voices from being heard or understood..
- Use a “Red, Yellow, Green” Emotional Check-In
Borrowed from trauma-informed facilitation, this check-in method invites participants to name how they’re feeling in color terms:
- 🟥 Red: Overwhelmed or resistant
- 🟨 Yellow: Cautious or uncertain
- 🟩 Green: Engaged and ready
This creates a quick visual of emotional readiness to change and gives people permission to be honest without judgment.
- Make Feedback Part of the Process — Not the Aftermath
Don’t wait until a transition has been rolled out to ask what people think. Build in real-time feedback loops:
- Anonymous “pulse” surveys
- Post-meeting reflections: What didn’t get said that needed to be discussed?
- “Shadow boards” or staff reps in change teams
The Takeaway
Next time, while managing transition, ask:
- Where in your organization might silence be masking misalignment?
- What’s one courageous conversation you could invite this week?
Resistance to or concern about change isn’t the enemy – they are natural elements of evolving systems. Rather than turn a blind eye to this fact, organizations can intentionally open up conversations about resistance and concerns to change, leveraging those conversations as opportunities for deeper connection and compassionate leadership within their change management efforts. Embracing the opportunities for open, truthful discussions promotes cultures that don’t just manage change but metabolize it.
Tools and Resources
TEDx Talk by Liz Kislik: Why There’s So Much Conflict at Work
Harvard Business Review: The Price of Conflict in the Workplace
Book: Managing Transitions by William Bridges — on the human side of organizational change
Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument: Helps teams map their conflict styles to uncover blind spots
